Nose to the grindstone

I've reached that point in the book where I go back and forth daily over whether it's really worth finishing. Self doubt and an absolute loathing for what I've written usually sets in right around the midway point for me. Today, I'm kind of blah. I don't really think its bad but neither do I think its good.

This is where I begin to question everything. Is that character flat? Is that really the mood I want to invoke here? This plot thread is going nowhere. Should I rework my draft? There are a lot of holes in the plot, maybe I should go back and do some editing. It never ends!

All of these concerns are floating in my head while I write and it can make it hard to concentrate. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing as it pushes me to be better, but it can be incredibly frustrating.

For now I need to concentrate on just getting the thoughts on paper. Not worrying about continuity or whether the character is a little different than planned. That can be fixed in edits. Or so I hope.

It's like that moment in a long race where you seriously consider giving up because you're tired and don't want to do this anymore but instead you grit your teeth and push forward. Yeah, that kind of explains it. Let's hope I have more endurance as a writer than as a runner:)

Alright self, it's time to write, write, write!

Where does all the time go?

I see on here that it's been awhile since my last post. I don't know how so much time manages to pass without my noticing. It's like I blink and a couple of weeks have gone by and I have done NOTHING promotion wise. Sigh. All I can do is try to do better.

Today I hit 60,000 words in the newest book, and I'm anticipating between a 100,000 and 120,000 words before I reach the end. This puts me a little over the half way point. That's if I can come up with an ending. Right now my outline stops about 2/3 of the way in because that was all I could envision when I started planning this thing. My hope was that once I got to that point in the story writing wise that I would have some idea of where the rest of it could go. I have an inkling but nothing concrete. Right now I know where I want it to end but haven't quite made the jump to how they got there. Urg.

If I buckle down and write, write, write I might be able to have the rough draft version of the story done by the end of March. I generally write faster towards the end of a story so hopefully that holds true for this one too.

I learned with the last book not to wait until I'm finished to commission a cover so I think once the rough's done I'll contact an illustrator. This way I don't have to wait two months after the final edits have been made to publish.

There's also the possibility of trying to get this thing published by an established publisher. I haven't quite decided whether I want to go independent again or traditional. Both have benefits and draw backs. The benefit to traditional would be not having to worry about covers and an entire team to help me on my way to a finished product. Although I have more control as an independent.

Hmm. That's a decision for another time.